80
Jerry Rice
Here are Jerry Rice's seasons from 1986-1996:
1986 - 86 catches, 1,570 yards, 16 touchdowns.
1987 - 65 catches, 1,078 yards, 23 touchdowns.
1988 - 64 catches, 1,306 yards, 10 touchdowns.
1989 - 82 catches, 1,483 yards, 17 touchdowns.
1990 - 100 catches, 1,502 yards, 13 touchdowns.
1991 - 80 catches, 1,206 yards, 14 touchdowns.
1992 - 84 catches, 1,201 yards, 11 touchdowns.
1993 - 98 catches, 1,503 yards, 16 touchdowns.
1994 - 112 catches, 1,499 yards, 15 touchdowns.
1995 - 122 catches, 1,848 yards, 16 touchdowns.
1996 - 108 catches, 1,254 yards, 9 touchdowns.
Hello, Mr. Ridiculous (actually, we'd like to propose
that as a nickname for Rice... someone of his stature
deserves a better nickname than the corporate-
driven "San Francisco Treat"). Oh, and that 1987
season you see up there was the strike-shortened
season in which Rice only played 12 games. 23
touchdowns in 12 games! What gusto! Of course, Rice tore his knee up in 1997, or who knows how long this would have
gone on for. He did, after all, come back in 1998 to have 82 catches for 1,157 yards and nine touchdowns. He fell
off his last couple of years with the 49ers as they moved to a more Terrell Owens-centric offense, but after moving
to Oakland, had consecutive seasons where he had 83 catches for 1,139 yards and nine touchdowns and 92 catches for
1,211 yards and seven touchdowns. The man was a pass-catching machine.
So now that you're appropriately impressed, let's take it a step further. We're just going to spout off the records
Rice owned at the time of his retirement (most of which still stand). OK, here we go. Career touchdowns (208),
receptions (2,669), receiving yards (31,895), touchdown receptions (199), all-purpose yards (32,540), receiving yards
in a single season (1,848), touchdown receptions in a single season (22... in the strike-shortened year in which he
also had a rushing touchdown), seasons with at least 50 receptions (17), seasons with at least 1,000 yards receiving
(14), games with at least 100 receiving yards (76), consecutive games with a reception (274), consecutive games with
a touchdown reception (13), most post-season touchdowns (22), most postseason receptions (151), most post-season
yards receiving (2,245), most post-season touchdowns in a single game (3), most postseason games with at least 100
yards receiving (8), most consecutive post-season games with a reception (28), most career Super Bowl receptions (39),
most career yards receiving in Super Bowls (589), most career all-purpose yards in Super Bowls (604), most career
touchdown receptions in Super Bowls (8), most career points scored in Super Bowls (48), most receptions in a single
Super Bowl (11), most receiving yards in a single Super Bowl (215), most touchdown receptions in a single Super
Bowl (3, twice), and most points scored in a single Super Bowl (18, twice). Whew, we are exhausted.
Just as a capper, Rice was number 2 on The Sporting News list of the 100 Greatest Football Players that came
out in 1999. There's really nothing more we can say about the man. He was a superstar's superstar, and is wholly
deserving of our number 80 spot.
Others considered:
Steve Largent: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Seattle Seahawks (1976-1989).
Cris Carter: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Philadelphia Eagles (1987-1989), Minnesota Vikings
(1990-2001), Miami Dolphins (2002).
Kellen Winslow: Tight End, National Football League, San Diego Chargers (1979-1987).
Tom Fears: Tight End, National Football League, Los Angeles Rams (1948-1956). Also wore number 55.
81
Dick "Night Train" Lane
Know why Dick "Night Train" Lane was so feared? Oh, we don't
know, maybe it has something to do with that picture to the right.
Take a look at it. That's called the "Night Train Necktie" and it is
now illegal in professional football, not to mention 49 states
(excluding Texas) and 203 countries.
Lane was the first superstar to play in the defensive backfield;
the precursor to the Deion Sanders' and Rod Woodsons of later
years. And he set the league on fire during his first year,
intercepting 14 passes, a rookie-record that still stands. For
ten straight years he was All-NFL (from 1954-1963), and he was
elected to seven Pro Bowls. He still ranks third overall with 68
career interceptions. During the NFL's 50th year celebration,
Lane was named best defensive back to ever play (to that point),
and in 1999, when The Sporting News came out with their list of
the NFL's 100 Greatest Players, Lane ranked 19th, the highest
ranked defensive back. Needless to say, he was elected to the
Hall of Fame in a landslide.
Ironically (or not, we don't really know), Lane's career began
when he walked into the offices of the Los Angeles Rams and
asked for a tryout. The Rams took a flyer on him and put him
on offense (which is why he wore the number 81). But stuck behind Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch and Tom Fears, he was
never going to get a chance to play. The coaches realized this, and well aware by this point of the athleticism he
brought to the table, found a place for him, in the defensive backfield. His nickname came from his early Rams days
as well. Tom Fears used to play the hit song "Night Train" before practice, and Lane could be constantly found by
Fears' side, peppering him with questions on how to improve himself. It wasn't long before a teammate simply
started calling him "Night Train" Lane, and the name stuck.
Others considered:
Carl Eller: Defensive Lineman, National Football League, Minnesota Vikings (1964-1978), Seattle Seahawks
(1979).
Tim Brown: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Los Angeles/Oakland Raiders (1988-2003), Tampa Bay
Buccaneers (2004).
Torry Holt: Wide Receiver, National Football League, St. Louis Rams (1999-present).
Terrell Owens: Wide Receiver, National Football League, San Francisco 49ers (1996-2003), Philadelphia Eagles
(2004-2005), Dallas Cowboys (2006-present).
Art Monk: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Washington Redskins (1980-1993), New York Jets (1994),
Philadelphia Eagles (1995).
Andy Robustelli: Defensive Lineman, National Football League, Los Angeles Rams (1951-1955), New York Giants
(1956-1964).
82
Raymond Berry
So here's a guy in Raymond Berry who had to wear special
shoes to play because one of his legs was longer than the other,
who didn't start on his high school football team until his senior
year (even though his father was the head coach), who only
caught 33 balls in three seasons with SMU, and who wasn't
drafted until the 20th round by the Baltimore Colts. So how did
this guy end up on our list? Two reasons: 1) his work ethic and
determination... he made himself into a better player, and 2)
luck. He was lucky to get drafted by a team with another player
very much like him, Johnny Unitas. Both were overlooked
coming out of college, both were workaholics, and since one
was a quarterback and the other a receiver, they spent
countless hours throwing the ball back and forth, establishing
a rapport that would lead both to NFL stardom.
And here's the part where we give you the numbers to back up
the stardom claim. Six times the man was in the Pro Bowl, and
twice he was All-NFL. He led the league in receptions three
times, and for his career he only fumbled one time. In the 1958
NFL Championship game (commonly known as "The Greatest
Game Ever Played") he set what was then the record of 12 catches and 178 yards. In 1973 he was voted into
the Hall of Fame, and in 1999 was ranked number 40 on The Sporting News' list of the 100 Greatest Football
Players. He finished his career with 631 receptions for 9,275 yards and 68 touchdowns in an era where teams played
12-14 games per season and certainly weren't as pass happy as they are today.
After his playing career was over, Berry went on to be an NFL head coach. In 1985 he led the New England Patriots to
their first Super Bowl, becoming the first wild card team to make the big game, where they would eventually lose to
the great Chicago Bears team of that year. He would finish his coaching career with an overall record of 48-39, and
3-2 in the playoffs.
Others considered:
Ozzie Newsome: Tight End, National Football League, Cleveland Browns (1978-1990).
John Stallworth: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Pittsburgh Steelers (1974-1987).
Jimmy Smith: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Jacksonville Jaguars (1995-2005), Dallas Cowboys
(1992-1994), Philadelphia Eagles (1994).
83
Ted Hendricks
Anyone out there ever heard of a 6'7" linebacker? Anyone?
There's got to be a reason for this, right? Do they get moved
to other positions before they get a chance to play linebacker?
Can they be cut-blocked easily? You'd figure they'd wreck havoc
in the passing lanes or at the line of scrimmage, and maybe,
just maybe, go down as one of the greats. And we only say this
because as far as we can tell, the only man that tall to play the
position did all of those things, we're just sayin'. Plus, he just
made our list, so he weren't no slouch.
Now, we don't know if Ted Hendricks had an "attitude" problem
as so many players seemed to be accused of having, but for
some reason, he played for three different teams over the
course of his 15 year career. Originally drafted by the Baltimore
Colts, he helped lead them to a Super Bowl victory in 1971,
which was also the first year he was named All-NFL. After five
seasons and for whatever reason, he was traded to the Green
Bay Packers, where he again was named All-NFL in his one
season there. He was traded to the Oakland Raiders for two first
round draft picks. At first he was used sparingly, but he soon forced his way into the lineup. Still, after just
three years with the team, the coaches (including head coach John Madden) voted to get rid of him yet again (and if
you can't make it on the Raiders in the 1970's, you ain't making it anywhere, baby), but Al Davis wouldn't have it.
Turns out old Al was right, as Hendricks again won All-NFL honors in the two seasons following his attempted
dismissal. He helped lead the Raiders to three Super Bowl titles, and was named to Pro Bowl eight times in his
career. In addition to his four first team All-NFL honors, he was named second-team All-NFL five times, and his
four Super Bowl championships (in four games) ranks among the highest for any one player. He was ranked number 64
on The Sporting News' list of the 100 Greatest Football Players, and was elected to the Hall of Fame in
1990.
Oh, and unofficially, he holds the NFL record for blocked kicks, as he blocked 25 PAT's or field goals during his
career (including seven in his one year with the Packers). He also finished his career with 26 interceptions, and
needless to say, batted down more passes than most (though the official numbers aren't known). So we ask you again;
why aren't there more tall players at the linebacker spot? We just can't figure this one out.
Others considered:
Andre Reed: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Buffalo Bills (1985-1999), Washington Redskins (2000).
Mark Clayton: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Miami Dolphins (1983-1992), Green Bay Packers (1993).
84
Shannon Sharpe
"We were so poor, a robber once broke into our house and we
ended up robbing him." "I was a terrible student. I didn't
graduate magna cum laude, I graduated 'Thank you, Lawdy!'"
“You've talked about it since 2001, and here it is 2010 and
you're still talking about it.” "Ray said that? Well, I think he's
ugly but did I ever call him that? No. Tell Ray to put the
eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away. I'm not saying
he's a cross-dresser; that's just what I heard."
So you may be wondering why we started this off with quotes
by the man we chose to wear our number 84 shirt. Well, we're
lazy. Oh, that, and we've been taught since grade one to start
things out with "attention-grabbers," to seize the reader's
interest from the get-go and see where things go. Well, really,
you're still reading, and why? Because of the genius and humor
that is Shannon Sharpe. We just thought we'd exploit it to our
benefit. Oh no, we're not above that.
So what gives Shannon Sharpe the spot here. Well how about
the fact that he may be the best tight end to ever play the
game? That seems like a pretty good reason. He finished his career as the NFL's all-time leader in receptions and
yardage for a tight end. That goes a long way. He played in eight Pro Bowls and played for three Super Bowl
champions. All good reasons. Three years he went over 1,000 yards receiving, a rarity for a tight end, and five
times he earned All-Pro. Do we need to go on? No, actually. No, we don't.
Others considered:
Sterling Sharpe: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Green Bay Packers (1988-1994).
Herman Moore: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Detroit Lions (1991-2001), New York Giants (2002).
Randy Moss: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Minnesota Vikings (1998-2004), Oakland Raiders
(2005-present). Wears number 18 with Oakland.
85
Jack Youngblood
That's right, the explosives expert from C.A.T. Squad and
C.A.T. Squad: Python Wolf fills our number 85 spot. Actually,
he was the "best weapons and munitions man in the business"
according to squad leader John "Doc" Burkholder. Well,
according to squad leader John "Doc" Madden, Youngblood
is also the player who best exemplifies the All-Madden team.
Which is more impressive? Being a weapons expert - the best
in the business - requires years of training and practice and
a strenuous program of continuing education (uh, we assume),
while being the barometer to which all other All-Madden
honorees are measured requires hustle, heart and toughness...
tough call. We'll go with the All-Madden thing, mostly because
the whole weapons expert tag is fictitious. Otherwise, we're
swinging the other way.
It's hard to question Jack Youngblood's All-Madden qualifications.
He did, after all, play the entire 1979-1980 playoffs (including
the 1980 Super Bowl) on a fractured left fibula. Ouch. He was
also first or second team All-NFL eight times, was named to
seven consecutive Pro Bowls, and nine times he led the Rams in
sacks. In 1975 he was named NFC Defensive Player of the Year and Pro Football Weekly's NFL Defensive Lineman
of the Year. He repeated his NFC Defensive Player of the Year award in 1976 and was elected to the Hall of Fame in
2001.
Actually, that's the more impressive than "All-Madden standard," or "Weapons Expert." Hall of Famer. Has a nice
ring to it.
Others considered:
Antonio Gates: Tight End, National Football League, San Diego Chargers (2003-present).
Nick Buoniconti: Linebacker, National Football League, Miami Dolphins (1970-1976) and American Football
League, Boston Patriots (1962-1968), Miami Dolphins (1969).
Chad Johnson: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Cincinnati Bengals (2001-present).
86
Buck Buchanan
Before Buck Buchanan had ever played a down of professional
football, he had already tasted success against the pros. See,
back in the day (a day not so long ago), the NFL Champions
used to begin each season by squaring off against a squad of
College All-Stars. In 1963, it was the two-time defending
champion Green Bay Packers taking on a team of collegiates
whose defensive line was anchored by, you guessed it, Buck
Buchanan. And, as you might have surmised by now, the Pros
were upset by the youngsters 20-17.
So here's the thing about Buck Buchanan; physically, he was
ahead of his time. We're not sure that there's any time when
he would be the norm, physically, but it certainly wasn't from
1963-1975. He was a 6'7", 287 pound grrr-animal who was
more athletic than he was large (which is saying something),
but his coach Hank Stram said it best: "A big guy will be strong, and he might be quick, but he is rarely fast. Or
sometimes he's strong and fast but not quick. But Buck had it all - big, strong, fast, and quick. Plus, he had a
great attitude." Because of this, he was one of the first defensive tackles to pursue the offense from sideline to
sideline. And as a lineman, the numbers don't necessarily do him justice, so we figured we'd throw this out there,
from fellow Hall of Famer Gene Upshaw: "I was big, but Buck was bigger and stronger and turned me every which way
but loose. When you played Buck, you couldn't sleep the night before a game. You don't imagine a guy 6'8", 300
pounds being so quick. You'd go to hit him, and it was like hitting a ghost."
There are some numbers, of course. He was, after all, All-League six times (in both the AFL and the NFL) and he
played in eight Pro Bowls/All-Star games. Oh, and he is in the Hall of Fame.
Others considered:
Hines Ward: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Pittsburgh Steelers (1998-present).
Dante Lavelli: Wide Receiver, All-American Football Conference, Cleveland Browns (1946-1949) and National
Football League, Cleveland Browns (1950-1956). Wore number 56 when Cleveland was in the AAFC.
87
Willie Davis
OK, say you're a struggling cosmologist. Bear
with us, this is going somewhere. You're a
struggling cosmologist, and try as you might,
you just can't get a foothold in your industry.
You've focused your efforts on black holes
and gotten nowhere. You've tried working on
the big bang, to no avail. You're growing
frustrated. Then you get news of your transfer
to Princeton, New Jersey; specifically, to the
Institute of Advanced Study. Don't worry,
we're getting there. Now, at first, you're not
happy about the situation. You even consider
retiring and going to law school. Then word
gets to you that Albert Einstein himself has
sent for you. He thinks your talents are being
wasted in the field of cosmology, and that
they're more suited to the world of physics. You decide to give it a try, and you end up setting the world on fire
(not literally, of course). Under Einstein's tutelage, you come up with theory after theory of world-altering
brilliance. You're accomplishments are recognized and your shoulder is patted, and those who come after you strive
to reach the levels of greatness you set forth. Sound pretty good? Well, this is exactly (and by exactly we
mean somewhat) how Willie Davis' career went.
Now to complete the rather long-winded analogy. See, Davis was drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but they didn't
really know what to do with him. They played him mostly at offensive tackle, but were quite indecisive about where
to use him. Enter Vince Lombardi. Lombardi felt that with Davis' size and speed that he would make a perfect
defensive end, so he traded for him in 1960. Now, in those days, Green Bay might as well have been Siberia, so you
can imagine Davis' hesistance in going. This is when he briefly considered retiring. But after a conversation with
Lombardi convinced him that he was really wanted, he decided to give it a run. And what a run it was. He went to five
straight Pro Bowls, recovered 21 fumbles (one of the NFL record at the time), won five NFL Championships (including
two Super Bowls), was named All-NFL five times, made the Hall of Fame, and in 1999, was ranked number 69 on The
Sporting News' list of the NFL's 100 Greatest Football Players. And though the statistic wasn't counted, he was
one of the first defensive lineman (along with Gino Marchetti) to make getting to the quarterback a strategy
(Deacon Jones would later make it an artform). He most certainly deserves this spot, and definitely made one damn
fine physicist.
Others considered:
Dave Casper: Tight End, National Football League, Oakland Raiders (1974-1980), Houston Oilers (1980-1983),
Minnesota Vikings (1983), Los Angeles Rams (1984).
Lionel Taylor: Wide Receiver, American Football League, Denver Broncos (1960-1966), Houston Oilers
(1967-1968) and National Football League, Chicago Bears (1959).
Claude Humphrey: Defensive Lineman, National Football League, Atlanta Falcons (1968-1978), Philadelphia
Eagles (1979-1981).
Dwight Clark: Wide Receiver, National Football League, San Francisco 49ers (1979-1987).
Ed McCaffrey: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Denver Broncos (1995-2003), New York Giants
(1991-1993), San Francisco 49ers (1994).
Sidney Crosby: Center, National Hockey League, Pittsburgh Penguins (2005-present).
88
Marvin Harrison
What we have here is a crisis of clutchitude.
Depending on his longevity, Marvin Harrison's
numbers are going to be right there with Jerry
Rice's. He'll certainly go down as one of the
two or three best wide receivers to play the
game. The question about Harrison is, why do
his numbers go down in the playoffs? Is he
lacking in one of the more important qualities
a player on this list can have... clutchitude?
Where are the huge games when his team
needs him most? Well, here at TrunkBunker,
we're going to lay the blame squarely on the
shoulders of the quarterback.
See, in the biggest games for the Colts
(usually in the Playoffs against the New
England Patriots), their opponents have
usually found a way to rattle Peyton Manning.
When your quarterback is not getting you the ball, well, there's not much you can do. We will admit that Marvin's
2004 AFC Championship game against New England was not one of his best, but just take a look at it. The NFL did,
and thanks to the manhandling of Harrison by the Pats, the NFL has changed the rules on how you can play defense.
He was consistently mugged, and while this admittedly threw him off of his game, it also brought about a rule
change, and a condemnation of the referees by the powers-that-be.
But questionable clutchitude aside, you'd be hard-pressed to find a player more suited to wear our number 88 jersey.
Harrison is renowned for his soft hands and perfect route-running, and he's got the numbers to back it up. He
shattered the record for catches in a season in 2002 when he caught 143 balls, 20 more than the previous
record held by Herman Moore. Currently, he averages 93 catches per season, by far an NFL record, and he's the only
player in NFL history to have four consecutive 100 catch seasons. He averages right at six catches per game for his
career, another record, and ranks #2 all-time (to Jerry Rice) in 100 yard receiving games with 55. His seven
straight seasons of 1,000 yards and 10 touchdowns are a record, and as of this moment, he has caught a pass in 168
straight games, a streak that has been alive since the very first game of his career. That's absurd. He is
the fastest player to 1,000 catches (and only the fourth overall), having made it in 167 games. For his career,
Harrison has caught 1,009 balls for 13,511 yards (an average of 1,257/season) and 119 touchdowns (10.8/season). And
the scary part is that he's got a few good years left in him. Who knows where he'll end up.
What with Alan Page wearing number 88 for most of his career, this was not an easy choice. The man was twice the
NFL Defensive MVP, and is one of only four defenders to ever win the NFL MVP award. But Harrison is going to be the
only guy in the conversation with Jerry Rice when the best-ever receivers are discussed, especially if the Colts
have some playoff success in his final years. Being in that conversation is an achievement, and worthy of our
number 88 spot.
Others considered:
Alan Page: Defensive Lineman, National Football League, Minnesota Vikings (1967-1978), Chicago Bears
(1979-1981).
John Mackey: Tight End, National Football League, Baltimore Colts (1963-1971), San Diego Chargers (1972).
Lynn Swann: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Pittsburgh Steelers (1974-1982).
Michael Irvin: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Dallas Cowboys (1988-1999).
Eric Lindros: Center, National Hockey League, Philadelphia Flyers (1992-2000), New York Rangers (2001-2004),
Toronto Maple Leafs (2005-2006), Dallas Stars (2006-present).
Drew Pearson: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Dallas Cowboys (1973-1983).
89
Gino Marchetti
So here's the original quarterback hater. The Reggie Whites, the
Deacon Jones', the Willie Davis', the Bruce Smiths, the Jack
Youngbloods... they all owe their existence to this guy. See,
when Marchetti came into the NFL, players played both ways.
Centers doubled as defensive tackles. Fullbacks doubled as
linebackers. Offensive lineman doubled as kickers (?.. at least
in Lou Groza's case). But once Marchetti came into the league,
his coaches gave him just one task... get to the QB. He became
the first platoon player that we see today, and with it, he created
the defensive end position. He was, both literally and figuratively,
a game changer.
And teams were forced to adapt. Marchetti had the same effect
on the league in the late fifties and early sixties that Lawrence
Taylor would have in the eighties. He came in fresh, having
rested while the guys trying to block him had been playing
defense. The platoon system exploded, to deal with Marchetti.
But don't think his success was due to the fact that his opponents
were tired. Far from it. Even after teams had adjusted to him
and begun platooning their own players, he still dominated them.
He just had an insatiable appetite to stop the quarterback. As
such, he was named a Pro Bowler for 11 straight years, from 1955-1965, was All-NFL nine straight times (1956-1964),
and was named to the NFL's 50th anniversary team, the 75th anniversary team, the All-Madden All-Millenium team, the
All-Time team, and the Hall of Fame. He was also ranked number 15 on The Sporting News' list of the 100
Greatest Football Players, the second highest defensive end (behind Deacon Jones). So our apologies to Mike Ditka
and his brilliance at the tight end position. Marchetti is the only player who can wear our number 89 jersey.
In 1959, Marchetti joined with some of his teammates and started a fast-food restaurant called Gino's Hamburgers.
The business exploded, and eventually was franchised up and down the east coast, until it was sold to Marriott
International, when they became Roy Rogers restaurants. You heard us right.
Others considered:
Mike Ditka: Tight End, National Football League, Chicago Bears (1961-1966), Philadelphia Eagles (1967-1968),
Dallas Cowboys (1969-1972).
Mark Bavaro: Tight End, National Football League, New York Giants (1985-1990), Cleveland Browns (1991),
Philadelphia Eagles (1992-1993).
Alexander Mogilny: Right Wing, National Hockey League, Buffalo Sabres (1989-1995), Vancouver Canucks
(1995-2000), New Jersey Devils (2000-2001 and 2005-present), Toronto Maple Leafs (2001-2004).
Otis Taylor: Wide Receiver, American Football League, Kansas City Chiefs (1965-1969) and National Football
League, Kansas City Chiefs (1970-1975).
Steve Smith: Wide Receiver, National Football League, Carolina Panthers (2001-present).