NFL

To impart the proper gravitas to the proceedings here, we're going to invoke the voice of John Facenda, legendary narrator of NFL Films. And since this tribute-cum-prose is actually written rather than voiced, we're going to need some assistance from you, our loyal readers. Now, because he worked for the behemoth that is NFL Films, very little of his work is allowed to be posted, anywhere... but through due diligence, we've discovered this, and your task is to listen to it, then read our words with his voice. You think you can handle it? Because if you can't let us know and we'll go a different way with this. No? Yes? Everybody good? OK, here we go.

The air hangs heavy over the field of battle. The gladiators, weary from punishing, relentless combat, have only this before them and the championship they've sought since they began playing the game; a white line. A white line guarded by warriors of virtually equal skill and strength... ... ... ... the opposing team. Only one thing can separate them, the one thing that always separates the winners from the losers at the highest levels of competition... desire. And in that frozen moment of time when everything is on the line, that fleeting instant when breath floats through the air in billowy puffs, and knuckles go white anticipating the body's eruption... that moment, more than any other, encapsulates all that is great and wondrous about the National... Football... League. Men at their peak. A line in the sand. Everything on the line. And then the snap... (cue explosion).

Weeping? We're man enough to admit that we aren't, but you should be.